Old Court Jester: Wanted! Man in Red Suit

Police suspect elderly man to be responsible for 57 burglary cases and a recent adultery charge as well.

Yio Chu Kang - A 5-year-old child is witness to a bizarre burglary attempt by a plump, bearded Caucasian man who is also alleged to be having an illicit affair with the mistress of the same household. The unidentified man was clad in a red suit made of thick woolen material, with leather belt and boots. He also had a rosy complexion and a constant jolly mood, according to eyewitness reports.

"I was getting up to go wee-wee," said Martin Mah, who is awaiting primary school education next year, "and then I saw Mommy kissing this man under a small stalk of leaves the man was holding. He was this plump foreigner with white hair and a white beard, and he was in a strange red suit and boots. I'm very sure the man is definitely not Daddy, and I even got the whole thing on Daddy's Sony Viewcam."

Evidence of what is believed to be mistletoe was found at the scene. Also, a box wrapped in red glossy paper and tied up in a green ribbon was found on Martin's bed soon after he returned from the toilet. The mistletoe, the box and the video camera are now under police custody.

Both parents of the child were unavailable to comment at press time. Mrs Mah has been held for questioning while Mr Mah is presently filing for divorce.

Meanwhile there have been increasing reports of of a man with the same description operating around the residential estates throughout Singapore. Activities range from trespassing in private property, disturbing the peace with loud jingling of bells, and stealing cookies and cream, particularly of the Hershey's variety, where available. Suspect is still at large.

Police are seeking the cooperation of any witnesses to the mysterious old man and his activities. They are looking for a plump Causasian man of average height, presumably in his late 60's, wearing a woolen red suit with a red cap, black leather belt and boots. he is sporting a thick white beard and has a rosy complexion. He may also be seen carrying around a big red sack and traveling around residential areas on a flying sleigh powered by reindeer.

Anyone who has seen this man or has witnessed any activity involving the same man can call the police hotline at 1800-6549816549843219687951321987984784354985432464, or email sting@the-police.com. Your identity and information will be kept confidential.


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