Old Court Jester Legal Advice Column
The Court Jester Legal Advice Column
by Mr Ee Dee Yot, LL.Hons, TC(u), Q.Bs*
With 4 months experience as a court transcriber, Mr Ee quit his job at the High Court to become legal advisor at our Court Jester offices. His words unprecedented as far as legal advice goes, he has helped numerous people with their legal problems, most of whom were claiming against the clients he was helping. Listen to what he has to say to you by emailing your questions to us.
1. My business is not doing well and I am advised to liquidate it. What are the procedures?
First, you get a fire engine (of course, there are other alternatives, but I personally feel fire engines do a more thorough job). Then you take the hose and spray water all over your office. This way, not only is your business thoroughly liquidated, you get a nice, clean, freshly hosed down office to boot. If you want to make it more fun, add some high-suds soap powder and invite a few bikini-clad women over.
2. Engaging a lawyer seems to be such an expensive and cumbersome endeavour. Are there any free alternatives to seeking legal advice?
Oh yes, there are quite a few ways to get free legal advice. To know more, simply mail me a cheque or money order of $300.00 (exclusive of GST), together with your Identity card number, home address, email address, home and office telephone number, personal particulars of your next-of-kin, your dog's pet license number (if you don't own a dog, go get one), your girlfriend's phone number (if you have a wife, give me her number too), credit card number, ATM card PIN number, 4D number, Toto number, the score for last week's soccer match between the Coventry and Blackburn, and a Sara Lee pound cake (chocolate).
3. I was looking through a contract with my lawyer when he said "Verba fortius accipiuntur contra proferentem", but before I could ask him what it meant, he got shot in the head by a disgruntled client. What does "Verba fortius accipiuntur contra proferentem" mean?
It's the title of Ricky Martin's new hit single, after he scored big-time with the women with "Livin' la Vida Loca". Are you in the recording industry?
*LL.Hons, CT(u), Q.Bs:
stands for Legendary Liar w/ Hons, Court Transcriber (Unconfirmed), Qualified Bullshitter
by Mr Ee Dee Yot, LL.Hons, TC(u), Q.Bs*
With 4 months experience as a court transcriber, Mr Ee quit his job at the High Court to become legal advisor at our Court Jester offices. His words unprecedented as far as legal advice goes, he has helped numerous people with their legal problems, most of whom were claiming against the clients he was helping. Listen to what he has to say to you by emailing your questions to us.
1. My business is not doing well and I am advised to liquidate it. What are the procedures?
First, you get a fire engine (of course, there are other alternatives, but I personally feel fire engines do a more thorough job). Then you take the hose and spray water all over your office. This way, not only is your business thoroughly liquidated, you get a nice, clean, freshly hosed down office to boot. If you want to make it more fun, add some high-suds soap powder and invite a few bikini-clad women over.
2. Engaging a lawyer seems to be such an expensive and cumbersome endeavour. Are there any free alternatives to seeking legal advice?
Oh yes, there are quite a few ways to get free legal advice. To know more, simply mail me a cheque or money order of $300.00 (exclusive of GST), together with your Identity card number, home address, email address, home and office telephone number, personal particulars of your next-of-kin, your dog's pet license number (if you don't own a dog, go get one), your girlfriend's phone number (if you have a wife, give me her number too), credit card number, ATM card PIN number, 4D number, Toto number, the score for last week's soccer match between the Coventry and Blackburn, and a Sara Lee pound cake (chocolate).
3. I was looking through a contract with my lawyer when he said "Verba fortius accipiuntur contra proferentem", but before I could ask him what it meant, he got shot in the head by a disgruntled client. What does "Verba fortius accipiuntur contra proferentem" mean?
It's the title of Ricky Martin's new hit single, after he scored big-time with the women with "Livin' la Vida Loca". Are you in the recording industry?
*LL.Hons, CT(u), Q.Bs:
stands for Legendary Liar w/ Hons, Court Transcriber (Unconfirmed), Qualified Bullshitter
syndicate (RSS)
add to de.licio.us
add to technorati
Comments